Planet Loud caught up with Goldfinger backstage in London recently for an interesting chat about transvestites, socks and the lack of boobs at UK festivals.
Planet Loud – It’s been a while since you’ve been in the UK, what have you been up to?
Goldfinger (John) – We made a record, Hello Destiny, it came out in April and we’ve been touring on that with Less Than Jake in the States. We’ve been over here for a week and a half and we go over to Germany so we can all get enemas.
Goldfinger (Darren) – We need them too. Badly.
Planet Loud – How was Reading and Leeds for you?
Goldfinger (John) – Spectacular! Huge! There was like 8 rows of people outside the tent, it was very fun – it’s not the response we expected to get seeing as we’ve been away for a few years. To get that good a response was a shock.
Goldfinger (Darren) – With all due respect to all the other bands on stage that day, we were great.
Goldfinger (John) – We didn’t see any boobs though.
Goldfinger (Darren) – We haven’t seen any boobs since we’ve been over here in fact. I saw some internet boobs last night.Goldfinger (John) – I saw some boobs at the hotel At the pay station – they had film channels showing like Star Wars and Terms of Endearment and then there were two channels of porn. 30 seconds of the preview.
Goldfinger (Darren) – And did it work? Welcome to my class! *motions for high five*
Goldfinger (John) – I’m not touching you!
Planet Loud – Which do you prefer? Reading or Leeds?
Goldfinger (Darren) – Both
Goldfinger (John) – I like Reading
Goldfinger (Darren) – I don’t want to pick!
Goldfinger (John) – If I liked Reading and you like Leeds then it’d be a little bit of your chocolate, a little bit of peanut butter. It’s not trying to be like some kinky sex thing!
Goldfinger (Darren) – How come I’m chocolate, why can’t I be peanut butter? I’ll say Leeds then.
Goldfinger (John) – I’ll say Reading. No, Leeds.
Goldfinger (Darren) – Then I say Reading.
Goldfinger (John) – I say Reading!
Goldfinger (Darren) – I say whatever John doesn’t say.
Goldfinger (John) – I like Reading AND Leeds. He doesn’t like either.
Goldfinger (Darren) – I like Portsmouth.
Planet Loud – Have you done any other festivals over here?
Goldfinger – We’re going Germany in a couple of days, called Area 4, then Switzerland.
Planet Loud – Did you enjoy your tour with Less Than Jake in the States?
Goldfinger (Darren) – Yeah, it was a lot of fun; they were packed, the crowds were really into it, we got along great with Less Than Jake. Hopefully we can do it again sometime soon.
Goldfinger (John) – That’s like a stock answer isn’t it? “Everything was great, the guys were really nice, the kids were amazing, the songs were good and it was perfect!”.
Goldfinger (Darren) – But what about that statement wasn’t true?
Goldfinger (John) – I dunno, it was okay.
Goldfinger (Darren) – He’s got high standards, I thought it was great.
Goldfinger (John) – The Reel Big Fish tour was better
Goldfinger (Darren) – It was better. With all due respect to LTJ!
Goldfinger (John) – Just for the record I love both bands, on the other hand Darren is picking sides!
Planet Loud – Because you’ve been a band for so long, what motivates you to carry on?
Goldfinger (John) – Prozac and lithium. If I had to see these guys another day, I don’t know how I’m still alive to be honest.
Goldfinger (Darren) – I wake up in the morning and my first thought is “aaah brand new day!” and then I think of Charlie, John and Kelly and then I think “uuuuuuurgh”. I don’t want to see them or be near them, I don’t want to touch them or smell them.
Goldfinger (John) – You can smell me?
Goldfinger (Darren) – I have to pretend. We all have to pretend.
Goldfinger (John) – It sucks!
Planet Loud – Having made so many albums where do you draw your inspiration from?
Goldfinger (John) – Hookers, for sure. My Wife said it was OK once a month to have a prostitute as long as she has a penis. It’s not cheating if it’s a dude.
Goldfinger (Darren) – Doesn’t that make you gay though?
Goldfinger (John) – Yee-ah. I write all the songs so he doesn’t need to answer.
Goldfinger (Darren) – So you write songs about prostitutes?
Goldfinger (John) – Gay prostitutes.
Goldfinger (Darren) – How is “Get Up” about prostitutes?
Goldfinger (John) – Er, get it up? It’s a lot of physical effort!
Planet Loud – What’s your favourite film?
Goldfinger (Darren) – I don’t have a favourite film; I love the Star Wars Trilogy – the first three, which is technically the last three.
Goldfinger (John) – Stock answer! All people say that because A: Special effects sucked in it, Luke was a total homosexual – he was trying to make out with his sister!. OK, one word: Ewoks! The last 3 crush them, if you watch them without seeing the others as an 11 year old.
Goldfinger (Darren) – I like Star Wars! And Shawshank Redemption.
Goldfinger (John) – She asked for one favourite movie Darren!
Goldfinger (Darren) – Ok, if have to pick one favourite movie then the first Star Wars movie.
Goldfinger (John) – Ewoks it is!
Planet Loud – And you John?
Goldfinger (John) – It’s tied – American Pie, American Pie 2 and American Wedding.
Goldfinger (Darren) – She said one movie John!
Planet Loud – Even if they don’t know of you as a band, a hell of a lot of people seem to know “Superman“. How do you reckon it became so widespread and popular?
Goldfinger (Darren) – Well, it was on Tony Hawks so that’s a big factor, but it’s also a fucking awesome song. That kinda helps too. And I think a lot of people love that song because it’s one of the great ska songs in history.
Goldfinger (John) – I wrote it so I’ll take it!
Goldfinger (Darren) – I’m not trying to suck your cock here, it‘s the last thing I‘d do! But people do compare it to something like “The Impression That I Get” and regard it highly. It’s a good, well written song.
Goldfinger (John) – A little known fact about that song is that Aaron from Reel Big Fish sings all the harmonies.
Planet Loud – Leading on from that tenuously – who’s your favourite superhero?
Goldfinger (Darren) – I like Spiderman. He’s cool.
Goldfinger (John) – You know, Iron Man was a phenomenal movie.
Goldfinger (Darren) – But is he a traditional superhero? In a Spiderman/Superman/Batman way?
Goldfinger (John) – I think after this movie he will go down as one of the great superheroes. I like Ultraman too! You know, Japanese dude?
Goldfinger (Darren) – I like Aquaman. He could control the sea. He ha fish get him drinks, which was weird cause they were in the sea!
Goldfinger (John) – I’ll tell you who’s stupid – The Silver Surfer. That guy couldn’t even surf – his legs were locked together like he was rollerblading on a surfboard!
Planet Loud – Are there any other projects you’re working on?
Goldfinger (Darren) – Wow, you’ve asked the right people – John could probably talk for an hour or two about his projects, and I can talk for about 3 minutes.
Goldfinger (John) – I’ll go first. I left a sock in the bus filled with love juice today … that’s something I’ve been working on. That was a short project.
Goldfinger (Darren) – May I ask where the sock is?
Goldfinger (John) – It’s in your bunk. Apart from that I’ve just had baby girl which is going to be a lifelong project.
Goldfinger (Darren) – Aren’t you going to talk about any of the bands you’re producing?
Goldfinger (John) – No.
Goldfinger (Darren) – I got a record label and I work at a radio station, I manage a couple of bands. I keep busy.
Goldfinger (John) – What about your sex shop?
Goldfinger (Darren) – I’m thinking of opening up a sex shop just for transvestites. That’s going to be a goldmine.
Goldfinger (John) – I’ll be there every month!
Planet Loud – What’s next for Goldfinger?
Goldfinger (John) – This is it. C’mon dude can you face another day looking at me?
Goldfinger (Darren) – It’s not that bad
Goldfinger (John) – Well you are.
Goldfinger (Darren) – Well I’ll take the high road – we’re going to be going over to South America for some shows with Reel Big Fish, and also Mexico.Goldfinger (John) – It won’t be us though, it’ll be 4 different people playing out songs
Goldfinger (Darren) – And we’ll reap the benefits.
Planet Loud – Will they look like you?
Goldfinger (Darren) – no they’ll all be fat, and out of shape… actually that’ll be us! We then take some time off and then do a couple of college shows and the we go over to Australia and New Zealand for Soundwave festival in February.
Goldfinger (Darren) – What if I have a boy in the next 6 months and your daughter and my son hook up? ‘Cause my son will live in Los Angeles… and she marries my son…
Goldfinger (John) – But knowing you your son is going to go for my son.
Goldfinger (Darren) – But I’ll adopt so there won’t be any genetics…
Goldfinger (John) – I know, it’s just going to be the way you raise them.
Goldfinger (Darren) – That’s fucked up dude!
Goldfinger (John) – Your son is never going to hump my daughter! His penis will be cut off like THAT.
Planet Loud – Er, Thanks guys!
Interview by Kim Allen
